News that could be
Here are headlines we would not mind seeing:
"MYANMAR MILITARY HELPS ELECT SUU KYI, COMPLAINS OF MASSIVE CHEATING"
With the support of the military, Myanmar Nobel Peace Prize winner Aung San Suu Kyi won 90% of the vote to become the country’s new President. However, military strongman Than Shwe complained of massive fraud: “ In the past all the candidates we endorsed won 100% of the vote. Madame Suu Kyi's poor showing proves the U.S. and Western countries were heavily involved in vote buying. We intend to ask for a recount."
"VATICAN LAUNCHES NEW MARKETING PLAN"
In a move designed to take market share from its rivals, the Holy See used the Pope’s traditional Easter message watched by billions worldwide to unveil its new marketing program.
“With flagging membership, declining spirituality among the young, rogue priests, and the possibility of Mitt Romney, a Mormon, as U.S. President, we need to relaunch Catholicism as a brand,” the Pope told the crowd gathered at the Vatican Plaza. “ We do not want it to go the way of Blackberry or the PC.”