Engkwentro: Marriage and responsibilities

Posted at 02/12/2013 2:41 PM | Updated as of 02/12/2013 2:45 PM

Jose’s addiction to drinking and smoking led Analyn, his wife, to leave him for another man. He wants her and their marriage back—but will his iron-willed wife give him a second chance?

Jose and Analyn Navarro during a visit with a marriage counselor

 

Instead of being a traditional Filipina—a Maria Clara—Analyn Navarro takes matters into her own hands. After all, gone are the days when women are supposed to be mere ladies-in-waiting towards life and love. Analyn knows what she wants and goes for it head on.

She admitted to have been the one to pursue Jose, her husband. She said that despite poverty, she felt Jose's undying love for her. This is the main reason why she proposed to marry him, regardless of the town’s penchant for gossip about their May-December love affair.

Analyn and Jose joined a kasalang bayan, a mass wedding, in 1997. They were blessed with five children. But after fifteen years, they slowly drifted apart.

The wife said that the husband became unbearable to live with, wanting nothing but sex. The husband said his wife no longer cared for him. She left him and their children to live with another man.

Analyn admitted that she left their home and lived with her lover, but was neither ashamed nor apologetic about it.

What could have possibly pushed Analyn to escape from her marriage?

Reversal of roles

Jose used to fulfill his role as the padre de familia, the head of their household, by striving to make a decent living and providing for his family’s needs. But all these changed when he became addicted to his vices. Jose eventually became too sickly to work.

Analyn was forced to become the provider of the family. She put food on their family’s table by offering her services as a manicurist to their neighbors. She struggled to make ends meet working on her own; she did not have any other choice. She did not want to oblige their children to help out as they were too young to work.

Analyn Navarro

 

Jose was suffering from asthma, but the illness did not stop him from smoking and drinking. What vexed Analyn more was his refusal to listen to her constant reminder to pay attention to his health.

It also irritated her that he no longer earned money but spent what little they had to buy cigarettes and alcohol.

Deterioration of marriage

Analyn argued that she only grew cold and distant towards her husband when he became lazy and irresponsible. She further said that it was her husband who challenged her to leave when they had a heated argument. She only called his bluff at that time but later on realized that she actually was better off without him.

Meanwhile, Jose admitted to all his wife’s accusations against him, but violently resented her affair. He filed a complaint against Analyn in their barangay in Vitas, Tondo, Manila.

Jose wanted his wife back but even after the barangay chairperson spoke to Analyn, she did not want to go back. She said that it is too late; she no longer wanted to be Jose's wife.

Resolution

For their children’s sake, Analyn agreed to leave her lover and return to their home as long as Jose agreed to move out. He agreed with his wife’s decision that they need space and time apart so as to not aggravate their marital problems.

Their marriage is still on the rocks, but Analyn and Jose’s relationship improved once they learned to become civil towards each other. They made amends and are now focusing on their children.

Aired on December 4, 2012