Salamat Dok: What kind of parent are you?
Parenting is one of the most fulfilling yet one of the most difficult tasks in life. You wake up every morning, attend to your child’s needs and fulfill everything expected of a parent. But have you assessed what kind of parenting style you have?
'Salamat Dok' interviewed Parenting Expert Maribel Dionisio, she enumerated and explained these parenting styles and their effects on your child:
Autocratic parents always have high expectations from their children; they always want rules to be followed strictly. This kind of parenting has negative effects. If their child commits mistake, autocratic parents do not give the children the chance to explain, which leads the children to feel worthless.
“This is difficult when they grow up. You are clueless about what’s happening to them. They are secretive then eventually become rebellious. There’s a possibility that they get into drugs, alcohol and attract bad peers,” says Dr. Eusebio.
Permissive parents set rules and regulations which are inconsistent or unevenly implemented. When not obeyed they get mad at their children but after it, they comfort them. Developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind describes these parents as more responsive than demanding. As a result, the child is spoiled, undisciplined, demanding and becomes the boss.
Maribel Dionisio said that children of these parents grow up constantly making demands from people and do not know how to give and compromise. They grow up feeling entitled and all these kids think about are themselves.
Democratic parents guide and explain what is right and what is wrong, they give their child the right to choose and to speak, and is determined about rules in life. These types of parents listen to their child -- in this way the child learns to decide for himself/herself and grows with confidence.
Maribel says, “Even if you put this child in a different environment, he can adopt easily because he knows how to ask and respect every people around him, the way he respects himself. This child never allows anybody to abuse or maltreat him/her because that’s what he/she learned from the parents.
Democratic style is also referred to as “authoritative parenting” and although experts consider it the most ideal form of parenting, it can also be difficult for working parents.
We tried to browse the Internet for some related literature and we added this parenting style to give you a broader insight:
Uninvolved parents fulfill more of the material needs, set few boundaries and do not monitor their children because they don’t care at all. The uninvolved parent lacks emotional attachment to his/her child. They are those who are busy working and may be OFWs. In worst cases, this parent is totally neglectful of the responsibilities.
Parents like these may have experienced the same kind of parenting.
In effect, the child lacks self-control, may lack certain competencies and has low self-esteem.
Of all these styles, Maribel Dionisio and other experts recommend applying the democratic or authoritative style.
So have you pondered on what kind of parent you are? These styles may not suit each and every one of us because we have our own unique personalities and have varied experiences. These are just guides. – with reports from Alexandra Jacqueline Geronimo, Interns Genevieve Manalo and Alvin Federico; illustration by Intern Gregy Nillo, Segment: Family Matters, aired March 18, 2012
References: psychology.about.com, theguardian