MANILA , Philippines -- Last Wednesday (Jan. 13) at around 5: 30 p.m., I got the following text message from a friend: May sinugod na babae si Kris Aquino sa Valle Verde...pinagsuspetsahan daw ‘yung babae na girlfriend ni James (Yap, Kris’ husband)... Paki-verify.

My first impulse was to call Kris but either she “cannot be reached” or “the person you’re calling is out of coverage area.”

So I did the next best thing: Mobilize the Funfare mole code-named Jumpy Kangaroo (deeply imbedded in the Aquino-Yap household) to check posthaste. Here’s his report:

Kris and James were having a late lunch at 2 p.m. that day when James’ celfon rang. The caller was a girl, crying, and saying, “I did everything already...” blah-blah-blah. Kris did what any wife would do (and considering that she and James have just survived a “Lovers’ Quarrel” sorted out during a post-Christmas family trip to Bangkok): she asked James who the girl was and why she’s crying on his shoulder. James had hung up after telling the girl that he’d call her later.

A little discussion (not an argument) followed during which James told Kris that the girl was having a problem with her boyfriend (somebody else) and that the girl has been his long-time (Purefoods) fan. Like any puzzled wife, Kris asked James, “Why would she be crying on your shoulder, for that matter on a man she knows very well who is very much married?” Normal reaction, wasn’t it?

For quite a time now, the girl has been sending James chocolates or cakes or other goodies, addressed only to James, making Kris wonder, “If she can’t write my name or those of our children, why doesn’t she just address them to ‘James and Family’ para naman mawala ang suspicion?”

The little incident didn’t end there.

While being made up for the day’s work by Bambbi Fuentes, she got a “forwarded” text message (from where, it wasn’t made clear), purportedly from James who was telling the girl to just say sorry to Kris “at nang matapos na lahat.” That made Kris even more suspicious. Any wife would react the same way, right?

So Kris decided to drop by the girl’s house (also in Valle Verde) where the girl’s mom very nicely met her. Kris politely turned down the mom’s invitation”to come in” and simply, very politely, told the mom the whole incident. Kris never raised her voice (unlike perhaps most “aggrieved” wives); she was calm as she reminded the mom that she and James are working very hard at saving their marriage and calls or text messages from “any girl” to James is the last thing that they wanted especially at this stage when they (Kris and James) have just patched things up.

Kris didn’t make sugod the girl. She only wanted to relay to the girl the message that she should refrain from calling or texting James since James is very much married and it doesn’t look good for her to be doing that. Siempre naman, kahit sinong wife ay hindi matutuwa sa ganoon.

(Note: I asked Jumpy Kangaroo what the moral of the story is and he said, “Huwag po magti-text or tatawag sa isang lalaking may-asawa. ‘Yon lang po.” Wives out there, agree or disagree?)