Is it important to know your partner's past?
MANILA, Philippines – Most of today’s couples are too focused on their “happily ever after” that they tend to forget to look back at their partners’ respective pasts, a relationship expert said Monday.
In an interview on the ABS-CBN morning show “Umagang Kay Ganda,” love expert Carelle Mangaliag stressed the need to know about a partner’s past, saying that this will help a person understand him or her more.
This, in turn, will make a relationship stronger and long-lasting.
“Mahalaga ang nakaraan bilang basehan ng pag-iintindi sa isang tao. Halimbawa, malalaman mo kung paano siya gumawa ng desisyon sa nakaraan, kung sino siya, kung paano siya mag-isip,’ Mangaliag said during the show’s “Sabi ni Mister, Sabi ni Misis” segment, which tackles relationships issues.
She maintained, however, that a partner’s past should not be used to judge him or her today, especially if he or she has made an effort to change for the better.
“Pero ‘di dapat ‘yun ang maging basehan kung paano mo siya huhusgahan ngayon,” Mangaliag explained, adding that one should have an open mind and be supportive of his or her partner.
Still, there are cases where a partner’s past continues to haunt him or her until today, and may spell trouble for a relationship, according to Mangaliag.
“’Yung iba, dala nila ‘yung bagahe mula pa sa nakaraan. Actually, depende ‘yan kung ang ginagawa nila ay [ginagawa pa rin] hanggang sa present. Kung hindi nabago, iba ‘yun. Kunyari, nung sa nakaraan niya babaero siya tapos ginagawa pa rin niya hanggang ngayon,” she said.
“[In the end] It’s really about respect and faithfulness and truth,” she added.
In a previous interview, relationship expert Maribel Dionisio of Love Institute shared seven “ingredients” for a “happily ever after” as many people strive to find “the one.”
Aside from emotional maturity, which involves accepting a partner’s past, the ingredients include communication, strong friendship, common interests/values/goals, required traits such as being responsible and faithful, steady jobs and attraction or the “x factor.