Underaged sex: all the more reason for sex ed?
MANILA, Philippines - Kiko, not his real name, openly admitted that at the age of 13, he already had sex with 8 out of 11 of his girlfriends.
He said it all started when he occasionally saw his cousin do it with a boarder of theirs in their apartment. He grew curious. And one night, he decided to try it with the female partner of his cousin.
“Noong una nanginginig pa nga ako, pero masarap ng maranasan ko… kaya inaaraw-araw ko na (At first I was nervous, but when I tried it, I was ecstatic; that’s why I do it daily),” he joked.
He blamed his friends, the Internet, pornographic materials like bold movies and sex scandals for his early exposure to sex.
But when Sol Aragones asked if he knew the consequences of his having several sex partners, he jokingly answered, “Mabubuntis ang babae, tapos iiwan ko na. Kanya-kanya na kaming buhay (She will get pregnant, then I will leave her. We’ll go on our separate ways).”
Kiko’s friend, Jimmy, not his real name, also said it was his curiosity that led him to his sexual experiments. He got curious after his science teacher discussed the different parts of the body in class.
“Kasi nung iniisip ko, ano bang feeling nito, masarap ba na masakit o ano? Pag pinasok mo ikaw ba masasaktan o parehas kayo (I was wondering if the feeling would be pleasurable or painful. Would it be painful for me or both of us)?” Jimmy said.
He admitted that if his parents, his father who’s working and his mother who’s an OFW, were less busy and more focused on him, he would not have engaged in such a lifestyle.
He was only 14 years old when he first engaged in phone sex with his 17-year-old girlfriend. Then one day, when he was on his way to school and his girlfriend was on her way home, she asked him to cut classes. And they had sex in a nearby vacant lot.
That first time led to more sexual encounters for Jimmy. After doing it a lot of times, he said he became more confident, and had sex with all three of his girlfriends.
Kiko and Jimmy’s clique looked like a group of young boys just raving about a blockbuster movie they just saw.
But when Sol Argones and "The Correspondents" team sat down to join them in their conversation, they were shocked at what they had heard that revealed how differently teenagers think nowadays.
Each of the boys was bragging about how he starred in his own sexual experiences.
According to Kiko and Jimmy, having sexual experiences makes you cool and “in.”
This growing “in” notion among the youth was reflected in a study by the University of the Philippines Population Institute. In 1994, only 2% of the youth aged 15 and below had sexual experiences. But in 2002, it increased to 16%, based on the Young Adult Fertility and Sexuality Survey.
Most of these adolescents are exposed to media, where 55% are young boys who take hold of pornographic material.
After their short discussion about sex, Sol Aragones tried to explain the implications of their having sex at an early age. They were a bit enlightened, but she knew her words were not enough to provide the young boys the guidance they needed.
Sex education needed?
The growing number of the youth who engage in sex at an early age pushed the Department of Education (DepEd) to integrate sex education in the curriculum of students in public schools from grade 4 to high school.
This project of DepEd started in 2005, but was called Adolescent Reproductive Health (ARH) through life skills-based education.
“Ginamit 'yung term na 'sex education' na sa iba naman pag narinig 'yung salitang 'sex education', nakakalimutan yung 'education' at 'sex' lang ang naiisip (The term 'sex education' was used, and to others, when they hear the word 'sex education', they neglect the word 'education' and focus on the 'sex',” said ARH project director Celia Eugenio.
She added, based on the agreement between the United Nations and the Philippine government, the youth has the right to be aware about the realities of life, so as to help them make a decision when faced with it in the future.
“Para pong pumasok sa isip ko na parang maganda po itong matutunan para malaman po namin 'yung gawaing tama sa masama (It is good for me to learn this, so that I’ll know what’s right from wrong),” said Aizel, a student who learned integrated sex education in class.
After a series of pilot testing in various schools, the module used for teaching Adolescent Reproductive Health was evaluated “very good” and positively accepted by teachers, students, and parents.
This feedback was the basis for the recommendation to integrate sex education in the curriculum of more schools--79 elementary schools and 80 secondary schools.
But this decision by the DepEd earned various criticisms form different sectors of society, including the church.
“We reiterate that the Church is not against sex education. But for reasons of morality and religious faith, we strongly object to the proposed sex education program. The program is devoid of any substantive moral and religious value formation,” the Catholic Bishops' Conference of the Philippines said in their statement.
Dr. Lucille Montes, a doctor of counseling in psychology, also said that DepEd should stop the teaching of sex education.
After studying the modules being used by teachers in pilot testing schools, she said the modules are but propaganda of people pushing for population control and the use of contraceptives and condoms.
She said parents are still the right people to teach children about sex. And instead, schools should just guide the parents on how they can teach their children about sex, she added.
“'Yung school po, siyempre dapat itinuturo na nila 'yun dati pa para alam namin (The school should have taught us about it a long time ago, so that we know),” Kiko said.
“Kung nandito ang nanay ko, 'di siguro ako mapapariwara kasi mahigpit akong binabantayan ng nanay ko dati (If my mom was here, I wouldn’t have gone astray, because my mom strictly watched over me before),” Jimmy said.
With the many things out there that can influence the minds of the youth, a combined effort by the school, church, society and home is needed to guide the youth.
get moving
boredom, too much time spend doing nothing, no aim, no goal, no money, eat, sleep and eat again, and watch the clock tick. then, there's curiosity and there's teenage sex.
if the young ones really use their imagination, there's really no limit to what they can do. Christopher Paolini was 15years old when he wrote his first novel, Eragon. the movie was forgetable but the book Eragon went international best seller, the second book, Eldest, and the third book, Brisingr were all international best sellers. so when Christopher Paolini was in his twenties, he was well on his way to making his millions. and all he did was write.