How to love a job you hate
MANILA - Not everyone is blessed with a job they like 100%, but given the current economic crunch, those employed should consider themselves lucky.
However, many employees still feel dissatisfied or unfulfilled by their job - a problem that can be addressed given the right advice.
Here are some tips on how to deal with the frustrations of being stuck in an unsatisfying work environment and renew enthusiasm for your job.
1. Make a pain and pleasure list. Ben Ampil, managing director of the Amplius Training Consultancy Group, recommends making a "pain and pleasure" list. If you think your job is dreary, you can reverse this mindset by thinking about more pain you will have if you don't have a job.
List down the inconveniences and hassles that would arise if your boss suddenly fires you like unpaid bills or losing your home and car. You can also associate more pleasure with the job that you have like a favorite officemate or a time when your boss commended you for a job well done. "You may soon find yourself nodding and saying to yourself, 'This is a great job after all!'," Ampil said.
2. Find the source of your discontent. What makes your job distasteful? Analyze if it is working itself t or a specific factor in your current job (a demanding boss, difficult colleagues, low salary). Ampil said if you disdain the concept of work, then changing jobs is not the answer. "However, if your dissatisfaction stems from a specific condition, then that could be addressed," he said.
3. Be part of the solution. If the cause of your job dissatisfaction can be addressed, Ampil suggests proactive ways to make the best out of your situation. When approaching your boss or human resources officer to discuss your concerns, it is important that you have constructive recommendations to offer. "Merely whining about your lot in life without offering any reasonable alternatives is a surefire formula for exacerbating your discontent - and endangering your upcoming performance appraisal," Ampil said.
4. Find friends. Enjoying companions at work can actually help you see a bright spot in a dreary job. According to medical technologist Vanessa Tabernejo, finding friends at work "keeps you sane and gives you reasons to stay in your job."
5. Take a vacation. Whenever possible, take a vacation to help clear your mind and get a new perspective on things. Fatigue and stress can contribute to frustrations and negative feelings toward work. Relaxation and a simple change of pace and environment can be soothing to your soul.
6. Be thankful. It would also help if you acquire an "attitude of gratitude." Count your blessings. The fact that you have a job already sets you apart from millions of Filipinos who are not as fortunate.
7. Manage your career. Remember that you are primarily responsible for managing your career so don't feel helpless and wallow in self-pity. Instead, check the various options available to you, in your present company or elsewhere. Ampil said you may consider having an honest discussion with your boss about your problems at work and tell him or her that you want to explore other options within your company. Staying relevant and increasing your skills can also help you get out of your work rut. Try joining seminars or applying for post-graduate studies.
8. Get a reality check. Finally, recognize that the idea of a perfect company or dream job is really an impossible dream. There will always be challenges and problems in any organization. If you find yourself falling into the habit of frequently switching jobs, stop and think. The ideal company may actually have turned out to be imperfect simply because you joined it. Report by Minnie Francisco-Francia, Working Mom magazine.
For more information, grab a copy of Working Mom's spectacular August 2009 issue with ABS-CBN head honcho Charo Santos-Concio on the cover. Working Mom magazines are available in bookstores and newsstands nationwide.
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Amazing Seminar! Highly-Recommended!
My group (a bunch of working moms with our own respective families, and whose ties go back to High School) just enjoyed a truly amazing yet deeply-insightful NLP Seminar facilitated by Ben Ampil. What started as an article ("How To Love The Job You Hate") which struck a chord among many of us in our group, progressed onto our contacting Ben and having a coffee-chat with him. Over coffee, Ben explained the nuances of NLP and the wide range of applications it offered. His facility with the topic was obvious and he had an ease in communicating it in a way that was jargon-free and non-intimidating. And his warmth and sense of humor were traits we all liked. Over a series of communications, we were able to arrange for Ben to facilitate a private whole-day seminar for our group. One of us had connections within the hotel industry so we were able to get a venue easily. In our seminar today, we were surprised and delighted to have 70 attendees. So it was also a sort of reunion in itself. The big number of participants also served to make the "cost-per-head" reasonable -- as admittedly the professional fee of Ben struck us initially as being steep. To this, he candidly remarked: "If you think education is expensive, you ought to try ignorance." That got us sold.
In our seminar today, we were awakened to realities that we had not been aware of but which had been dragging our relationships and our careers. Ben started by giving a backgrounder on the theories and concepts of NLP. His powerpoint presentations were very professional, not shabby at all. And he progressed from on topic to the topic in a very coherent manner. He then discussed the NLP concepts which pertained to communications. We learned that we all had a "dominant sense" (either visual, auditory, or kinesthetic) and this had behavior manifestations. Through an interactive discussion, he was able to bring out challenges and frustrations we had collectively experienced regarding our relationships with our husbands, children, and officemates. Then Ben brought in the kicker: he showed that we ought to adapt to the dominant sense of the people we interacted with if we wanted to have effective communications. There were some who cried when it was made clear to us that we had ascribed "disrespect" to the behavior of our children whereas they were simply behaving in a way consistent with their dominant senses -- and that they had meant no disrespect at all. Ben also explained how to nurture our relationships with our husbands by recognizing their dominant sense and behaving in a manner which respected that. Again, many of the participants cried.
After lunch, Ben moved on to another NLP application: peak performance. He explained that how we "languaged" ourselves, as a result of the failures and disappointments which have accumulated over time since our childhood, had the effect of forming "limiting beliefs" which then held us back and prevented us from attaining our potentials. Through interactive discussions which were open and frank, we learned that this was a common experience among us. And through guided exercises, Ben taught us practical tools that we could use to counter these "limiting beliefs". It was such a sight to see grown-up women, at the prime of our careers, crying and hugging each other as if they had been liberated from a burdensome load.
Our thanks to Ben was profuse at the end of the seminar. Everone gave him a hug and he also expressed his thanks to us, since he said he had never had such an experience of facilitating an all-women group, mothers at that. During dinner after the seminar, NLP was the big topic of conversation. I had texted my friends who were not able to make it for one reason or another. Since I had been receiving text messages asking me about how to contact Ben, his email addresses are "ben@ampliusmanila.com" and "ampliusmanila@yahoo.com". Ben is a US-Certified NLP Practitioner and he is based here in the Philippines.
We thank Working Mom, since, had it not been for that fateful article on "loving our jobs", we may not have had the incredible experience we had today. Amazing seminar. Truly highly-recommended.
Thankful Mom
Working Moms & Working Dads
Thanks to this article and the inclusion of the contact information of the NLP Practitioner who was interviewed, we were able to arrange a private NLP Seminar for our Group (all working moms, consisting of our barkada and other friends). During our initial meeting over coffee with Ben Ampil, we were delighted to learn that there were other applications of NLP which were relevant to our specific situations as "working moms" (such as improving relationships in the home, helping our kids to learn in school more effectively, being able to deal with frustrations, etc). When our husbands found out about it, they became interested themselves and are now in discussions with Ben to arrange their very own NLP Seminar for applications pertaining to their own situations.
Congratulations to this magazine for a job well done!
Katrina
Fresh And Practical Options
As an HR Practitioner (and Working Mom), I always encounter challenges with regard to how employees feel toward their "jobs". The recent economic challenges did not help the situation any. The marketplace saw downsizings and company shutdowns, as well as reduced corporate revenues amidst increasing competition on a global scale. Our internal climate surveys indicate worker morale to be very very low. Such conditions pull down worker efficiencies and creativeness, therby leading to a vicious cycle.
The article of Minnie Francisco-Francia was frank and unapologetic. This is a refreshing contrast to most other suggestions pertaining to job satisfaction, which simply offer platitudes and motherhood statements.
Our Company has been looking for such fresh approach. I had recently attended a seminar by an American NLP Practitioner who is based in Thailand. He was a dynamic speaker but I found that the NLP applications he had described were totally devoid of an understanding and appreciation of local cultural nuances.
I had read the full article through the magazine and I would surmise that although it is more comprehensive than this online version, much was still left out due to space constraints and editorial prerogatives. I am thankful though that I have been "introduced" to Ben Ampil, who is a US-Certified NLP Practitioner and who is a Filipino, which would then assure that cultural distinctions would be addressed. It also helps that Mr.Ampil is a Management Consultant based in the Philippines, and with actual corporate experience.
Thank you for a well-researched article which provided refreshing insights.
HR Practitioner Mom
Truly Interesting Article
Congratulations to Working Mom and Minnie Francisco-Francia for a truly insightful article. I had the pleasure of reading the full article through the August 2009 issue of your magazine.
I also wish to commend your resource person, Ben Ampil, whom I am delighted to note is both a Management Consultant and a US-Certified NLP Practitioner based here in the Philippines. Thank you for including his contact information as our Company would be communicating with him as our Organization wishes to pursue such NLP training, on management and leadership issues, via an inhouse seminar/workshop.
I have read numerous articles about "loving one's job" but this article is by far the most practical and innovative approach to a very common concern among workers.
Keep up the good work.
Stella
Novel Approach Re Loving One's Job
I am struck by the novelty and practicality of the approach offered by NLP!
It is the first time I came across this methodology and I was delighted to have found a book on this subject in an upscale bookstore in Makati this afternoon.
Thank you for a truly relevant article and thank you for introducing new concepts to your readers.
Working Mom In Makati
Very Good Tips on Loving One's Job
I really enjoyed reading the article Loving the Job that You Hate. The tips provided by Mr. Ampil are very enlightening.
I'm currently working in a multinational company wherein the stress level is high and office politics is prevalent. The tips given by Mr. Ampil based on the tenets of NLP are truly useful.
I hope that you can feature more articles delving on NLP applications as expounded by Mr. Ampil.
More power to you.
Erika
great article
your catchy title on the cover page of your magazine caught my attention while i was browsing through the bookstore during my lunch break. the article did not disappoint.
i am separated, with 2 kids to raise. all expenses are going up. and work has become boring after doing the same thing over and over for the past 11 years. i find myself daydreaming about being taken away from my miseries (by winning the lottery, inheriting a fortune, marrying a prince). none of these are obviously practical.
this article offered very specific solutions. are all these based on neurolingisticprogramming? sounds interesting. please feature more such articles on other topics, esp the challenges for separated moms.
vicky
Very Timely Advise
I was really planning to resign from my job. Because of recent downsizing, I had to take on bigger work load without any additional increase in my salary. Now I work on weekends and my husband and my daughter complain that I do not spend as much time with them anymore.
The stress I experience on the job is not compensated for by the below-market salary I receive. My boss is not supportive. I put up with it only because of my fear that I would have a difficulty in finding a new job. My husband reminds me that we have a daughter that we have to look after for. I bring home my frustrations from work which is unfair to my family.
Your article offered practical suggestions. When I imagined the problems I might feel when I have to look for a new job (like lining up in job fairs, at my age), I began to appreciate my work.
Very timely. Your magazine came out at the exact time I needed some advise.
M.Bautista
Interesting Concept (NLP)
Thanks to this article, I was introduced to the concept of neuro-linguistic programming. I found it to be radical, to say the least; but effective nonetheless.
I tried googling more about nlp since I recognize that the article could not accommodate a lengthy explanation, in greater detail, of how nlp could be used to develop empowered perspectives toward one's job. Not surprisingly, although there were numerous entries available on the internet about neuro-linguistic programming and nlp, none of them were easy to understand. I am amazed at how Minnie Francia was able to communicate nlp concepts and link them to real concerns: such as hating one's job.
May I request for an article on how to help a child learn more efficiently, using nlp? Better yet, could ABS-CBN organize a forum on nlp for parents? (The resource person for this article could articulate in greater depth such applications of nlp. More importantly, the format would be participative).
Regards.
Carla
How To Love A Job You Hate
"Loving your job" seems to be an oxymoron as from our youth, the concept of "work" has been given a distasteful reputation. "Work" is simply something we "had" to do -- or else we risk the loss of material benefits we have, also from our youth, determined to be utterly necessary.
The approach taken by this writer is truly interesting: NLP. I am not familiar with that tool until I came across this article. But the exercises (ex: "associating pleasure" to work, instead of "associating pain") as described by the writer were easy enough to understand and attempt.
I did the exercises Ms. Francia had described -- and to my surprise: they worked! I am now intent on learning more applications of NLP as I imagine its applicability extends far beyond work-appreciation. I hope Working Mom could arrange a Seminar or a Forum wherein a duly-certified NLP Expert could facilitate the discussion over issues important and relevant to "working moms" like myself.
Congratulations to Working Mom Magazine, to Dedet, and to Minnie.
Sincerely,
Millet E.