One sunny day, M."Bi" Villar walks along the streets of Manila. Out of nowhere, a street child suddenly interrupts him.

Child: Bilyar!

The child raises his hands, palms up and grabs the "man's" shirt.

M."Bi" (reaching out): Eto ang bente. (Here's twenty.)

Child: Bente lang? Mahal na ang droga ngayon! At mataas ang kota ng pulis na bosing namin! Bubulagin nya kami kung mababa ang kita namin! (Twenty only? Drugs are expensive nowadays! And our police boss dictates a high quota. He'll blind us if our earnings are low!)

Suddenly, Gay Gibo walks in front of them.

G.G.: Eto ang isang daang dolyar. Mapagmahal ang pulis at militar! At mahal ko rin sila. (Here's 100 dollars. The police and military are loving people. And I love them too.)

Child: kaya n'yo ba minasaker ang mga taga hasyenda luwisita? (Is that why you massacred those from Hacienda Luisita?)

M."Bi": Si Noynoy ang may kagagawan no'n! (Noynoy is responsible for that!)

Child: Ano kami tanga? Yung mga tauhan ng bading na'to ang may kagagawan no'on! Ano'ng kinalaman ni Noynoy do'n? (What are we studid? The men of this faggot are responsible for that! What does Noynoy have to do with that?)

M."Bi" (touching the child): Mag-ingat ka anak sa pinapagsabi mo. (Be careful of what you say, my son.)

Child: 'Wag mo akong hipuan! Para kang paring Katoliko! (Don't fondle me! You're like a Catholic priest!)

That was the cue for the boy to take out an ice pick tucked under his shirt and raise it towards M."Bi".

Child (shouting towards other kids): Mga kasama! Hubaran n'yo ang mga silahis na 'to! (Partners! Strip these bisexuals!)

A group of street children carrying ice picks surround them.

G.G.: Hey kids! Take it easy!

Child 2: Maghubad kayo! Tanggalin 'nyo lahat ng baklang damit 'nyo. Pati na rin ang Florsheim, Armani at Louis Vuitton n'yo! (Strip down! Remove all your gay clothes! Including your Florsheim, Armani and Louis Vuitton!)

So the "men" strip until Gay Gibo reveals his Calvin Klein underwear.

Child 3: Yakapin n'yo ang isa't-isa! (Embrace each other!)

So the "men" embrace each other.

Child 4: Maghalikan kayo! (kiss each other!)

So the "men" French-kiss each other with passion.

Children: Hahahahahahaha! Magsama-sama kayo sa El callejón de los Milagros! (Go all together to El callejón de los Milagros!)

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One night, M.”Bi” Villar visits the home of his rival Noynoy.

M.”Bi”: Noy, baka naman pwede kang umatras sa halalan. Babayaran ko lahat ng utang nyo sa banko para sa Hacienda Luisita at lahat ng gastos mo sa kampanya. (Noy, perhaps you can retract your bid for the elections. I will pay for all your Hacienda Luisita debts and all of your campaign expenses.)

But suddenly Gay Gibo appears again out of nowhere like the Flash.

G.G. (touting): I heard that! I’m a witness to that!

Noy: Calm down cousin. Let him speak.

M.”Bi”: Alam ko naman na ayaw mo talaga tumakbo. Napilitan ka lang. Bakit mo pa pinapahirapan ang sarili mo? Dapat pabayaan mo na lang ang halalan para sa mga talagang gustong tumakbo. (I know that you really don’t want to run. You were just forced into it. Why are you making it so hard on yourself? You should just leave the elections to those who really want to run.)

Noy: There comes a time when you realize that you finally have to do it even if it seems that there is no hope.

M.”Bi”: Ano’ng ibig mong sabihin? Ang labo mo naman. (What do you mean? You’re confusing me.)

Noy: Why would Filipinos vote for me? If ever they do, it would be because of a temporary emotional episode, not because they really thought about it. Filipinos are very emotional. They’re like girls. They love feminine things like marriage, family, children and relationships. I don’t have any of that. Well, actually, I have a little of it, like my cousin here. But you see, in order for the country to be better off, they have to think less about their emotions and more about reason. I had doubts that it could be done in this country, but perhaps, there is some hope.

G.G: You mean they have to be a man like me?

Noy: No. You love the military. No offense, but military personnel are full of desires, known and hidden. Soldiers all sleep in the same room, bathe in the same shower room together and live by esprit de corps. Their uniform and their guns are their security blankets. Without it, they are all fearful like Cowardly Lions. They always want more, like mutineers, and they have great difficulty in controlling their desires. If they were all locked up in a prison cell together, who knows what they would do to each other’s rear end.

M.”Bi”: Ang ibig mong sabihin kailangan nila maging tunay na lalaki tulad ko. Kaya dapat ako ang maging presidente. (What you mean is that they have to be real men like me. That’s why I have to be the president.)

Noy: Unfortunately not. You love children. You love your family. You love too much. What if someone killed your wife, would you kill them back in return? What if you see hungry children? Would you steal in order to feed them? What if the military attacked your hometown, would you organize a rebel army like the Abu Sayaf or the Taliban? Terrorists love too much. That’s why they are the way they are…China has a one-child policy. Do you think people here can have only one child per family? Singapore restricts government to academics. Do you think the Filipino’s love for movie-star politicians will cease? People suffer because of too much love, just as they suffer from too many desires.

M.”Bi”: Ano’ng pinapagsabi mo! Baliw ka talaga! (What are you saying? You’re really crazy!)

But Gay Gibo stands up and slaps M.”Bi” on the face.

G.G (furious): Don’t say that! He’s my cousin!

But M.”Bi” teary-eyed stands up and leaves.

M.”Bi”: Babalikan kita! Mag-sisisi ka! (I’ll get back at you! You’ll regret it!)

And so ends the tale of the ego versus the superego and id. The vicious cycle of these elements perpetually continues. On occasion, a strong ego produces peace and stability, but as the seasons change, the ego is soon dismounted by the id or superego.

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http://freeasean.tripod.com
http://myconnected.webs.com
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